Little Honesties

i'm much more honest when i write. i'm self-destructive and this is something better to do with my hands. (all numbered posts written by me.)

When I was seven, I wanted to glue autumn leaves back onto the branches they fell from, returning each to its home. Yesterday, I stepped on a pile of damp leaves on the sidewalk. When I heard them crunch beneath my feet, I felt nothing.

Kayla Hollatz, This is what growing up looks like. (via thetalltwig)

(via mariannapaige)

if he isn’t calling you then it’s okay to feel
this destroyed over a boy but remember
he did you a favor i know you think this is
the end but it is also the beginning it is also
cleaning up after yourself you can’t keep
crawling inside other people sooner or later
the heap of clothes at the foot of your bed
is going to stand up on its own and talk back
you can’t just wash your hair in the sink
forever when there are people with real
problems who still remember to recycle
and when did you become so soft? trying
so hard to look sexy in photos that you come
off as confused eating nothing but waffles
is not a diet even if there are blueberries
don’t ask just tell about the kinds of shocking
things you find under your nail beds your
mother warned you about pain that would be
there one day and then gone the next she
warned you about it all

Kristina Haynes, “If He Isn’t Calling You” (via fleurishes)

(via mariannapaige)

Every person I tell about you says you’re perfect for me.

my mother once told me
that falling in love
felt the same
as falling asleep

my grandmother once told me
that falling asleep
felt the same
as dying

my grandmother,
she didn’t understand
when i told her
i knew what that felt like

—th, love is a dying thing (via samshalo)

(via suziqsmith)

It’s 3:42 in the morning and I want to text you and pour out my soul and say “good god I miss you like a bullet hole” but the truth is I miss who you were and what we had and nether of those things is coming back and if I was to call you right now it wouldn’t change a thing because you’ve become a stranger to me and the person I love doesn’t exist anymore and the happiness we shared might as well have been a dream because

even though you have his smile and his laugh and the way he always runs his hands through his hair: it’s all completely wrong. somehow, the boy I love is gone.

I miss him more than anything but I don’t really want to see him again.” /// r.i.d
(via inkskinned)

(via losingcontrolofmyself)

Listen, little spider, you are not big enough to eat the moths I am growing in my heart.

#262

I.
This year began with your lips and ended with my fingertips aching from beating down notes asking you to come home.

II.
Where most people built homes, you built a hole. You told me “someday. I swear” but then quietly left through the exit in my chest.

III.
I promised I would leave you for my art.

IV.
Happy Anniversary for one year spent apart from me.

V.
I question why you would do this to me, but it all comes down to: if you loved me like you claimed, you wouldn’t. I know this, because I wouldn’t do this to you. And I have loved you an ocean in between, a year in between, and still haven’t done this to you.